In Another Life
by NotCrazyJustCreativelyInsane
Summary: Merlin, after over a thousand years of waiting, is given the ultimate choice. Will he choose to go back in time and start again, or to continue as he has? No slash.


**Hello, long time, no see. My computer went crazy and I just figured out how to post off my phone. Anyway, I'm rather proud of this one. I hope you enjoy.**

 **IDOM or the quote I used.**

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 _Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all - Alfred Lord TennysonIn_

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 ** _In Another Life_**

Merlin waited. He'd become very good at that over the past thousand or so years. Now he was waiting in a clearing in the forest. Waiting for the sorcerer who had summoned him. He had no idea what they wanted, but he didn't have the bad feeling in his gut that had saved him multiple times in his long lifetime. His magic was relaxed but on the defensive. Just in case.

The wind picked up softly. Merlin could taste the presence of another magic in the air; a sensation he had not experience in a while.

In the silver moonlight stood a figure. Tall, but not quite matching Merlin's height. Face obscured by their hood, they approached him. Merlin tensed slightly, ever wary of the stranger as many lifetimes had taught him to be. At last, the figure spoke.

"Peace, Emrys. I mean you no harm," the woman's voice said gently. "I only come to offer you a choice."

"What kind of choice?" he asked, voice guarded.

"The choice to do it all over again."

"Do what? Look lady, it's late, I've had a long day, I want to go home. So please, stop beating around the bush and tell me." Merlin did not mean for his voice to come out so harsh, but when one lives for as long as he had, one gets a bit fed up with things.

The woman smiled, seemingly taking no offense. "Forgive me. I know you are tired. I am Clotho, the spinner of fate. I am offering you the chance to go back."

Merlin's heart filled with sudden unexplainable joy, but trepidation. Go back? Back when exactly...?

"Back to the beginning. To Ealdor and your mother."

Back to Ealdor? A chance to go back? To fix the mistakes his future-past self made?

"Not quite," Clotho spoke, seemingly reading his mind (which, he guessed, she probably had). "I'm offering you a chance to change your destiny."

"What do you mean? I don't understand."

"You can go back and have a completely different destiny. You will not be tied to The Once and Future King. But you would no longer be Emrys. I cannot guarantee that you will even have magic. You may grow up and live a simple and normal life, if that is what you so choose."

A simple and normal life? That was all he had ever dreamed of. To not have to live in fear of death every single day of his life. To not have to wait any more. It sounded heavenly.

But no magic? No Camelot? No Arthur or destiny? To give up who he was? No Emrys?

Clotho continued, "You will have no memory of this lifetime. You will never remember that you had magic if you choose to go back without it. You will not remember Arthur or your time in Camelot. But only if you choose to."

Merlin hadn't felt so conflicted in a long time. To give up being Emrys, to give up who he was; go back, live a simple farmer's life with his mother. To not have to fear for his life. To not be terrified that one little slip up would mean his death. To not have to make such hard decisions so early in life.

To not have the weight of the world on his shoulders.

Merlin could have had more friends when he was a child and not have them all think he was a freak. He would still have Will. Will wouldn't have died so young.

But, if he did take this opportunity, he would not have later made such great friends, either. Gwen, the knights, Arthur. He wouldn't have met Freya or his father.

He wouldn't have lost them either. Any of them.

"I will not rush you, Emrys," Clotho said. "But know that this is a once in a lifetime opportunity. Once you make the decision, whatever it may be, you cannot go back. It will be final, and that is the life you will live until your last breath."

It will be final...wait a minute. Last breath? Meaning he could die? No longer cursed with immortality? Sweet Avalon, he could actually die! This new life was sounding better and better!  
But only if he went back. Did he really want to do that? He didn't know anymore.

Magic or a normal life; to live out his destiny or have a regular life; to wait for Arthur's return or to have never known him.

Merlin sighed. Did he want to take the easy way out and forget all his pain or did he want to continue to endure until the return of his other half?

It was so appealing to just forget. There were so many things he wanted to forget.

But there was so much he still cherished in his lifetime that kept him going.

As he slowly came to a decision, he stood straighter, pulling his shoulders back, tipping his chin up. When he spoke, his voice was clear and sure.

"Lady Clotho, I thank you for your offer. It is truly generous. But I'm afraid I cannot accept."

"Are you certain, Emrys? As I said, this is a once in a lifetime chance. Only you have ever been offered it. Choose wisely."

"I am certain. As appealing as it sounds, I would rather not forget those I have ever met and loved. I would do anything for them, even if it means living for another thousand years."

"So you have reached your decision? To continue as you have and do so until the Once and Future King's return?"

"Yes, my Lady."

The conviction in his voice made her smile. "You have chosen well, Emrys. Know that your patience has not been in vain and you will reap its fruit soon." With that, she swept out of the clearing.

Merlin watched her disappear, her final words ringing telepathically through his head.

 _"Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all."_

He knew them to be all too true.

 **The End**

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 **I don't know if this senerio is entirely believable, with the whole 'no more Emrys' thing, if you know what I mean, but it could be taken as this was a test for Merlin. And after all, it is Clotho, the Spinner of Fate. She could do whatever she wants. Am I over explaining things? I'll just shut up now.**


End file.
